The Law of the Pack

We received an application in our office over the weekend with the following statement under the heading Objective: “To give the best of my ability to do the task given to me in order to achieve the company’s goal.” Can you be just a liiiiitle more specific, please? I also noticed that this statement is pretty damn close to the Cub Scout Promise: “to do my best, to do my duty to God and my country, to help other people, and to obey the Law of the Pack.” Now, if the above applicant said he would have obeyed the Law of the Pack, holy shit, that would be awesome. For those of you who are forgetful, or like me who never memorized the thing (and therefore dropped out of Scouts), the Law of the Pack is the one that begins: The Cub Scout follows Akela. The Cub Scout helps the pack go... I like this for a few reasons: First, its pretty enigmatic as to who this Akela is. If you google Akela under “I’m feeling Lucky,” you discover he’s a flesh-eating wolf that devours children. I know because it’s in Italian and I speak it and you’ll have to trust me. The second reason I love the Law (we can call it just “the Law” because there really is no other), is that it also leave the mystery of exactly where the pack is going. It just goes. And goes. But Where, Jerry? According to I’m feeling Lucky, “The pack is going” abroad! To England we suppose, where the the Cub Scout promises to do their duty to God and to the Queen, in lieu of the Country. (in English we say lieu to sound fancy, which rhymes with France-y, which would be correct. Lieu in fact is French meaning place, and rhymes with Loo which is British meaning potty.)

By the way, the Law of the Pack reached its peak-popularity in 1995 with a fleeting comment by Silvestor Stalone in the runaway smash-hit Judge Dredd when he said "I am the Law!" Rent it tonight!